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Cougar Town By
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Episodio 1x3 - Nota 7.5 2019-05-31 19:15:18A Barb! Hahaha |
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Episodio 1x4 - Nota 7.5 2019-06-01 19:09:41O saco do lixo! Hahaha |
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Episodio 1x5 - Nota 7 2019-06-01 19:21:28Coitado do Josh! |
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Episodio 5x3 2014-12-22 15:16:56Travis: Mrs. Torres! Okay, this is weird. This doll is physically colder than the others.Tom: Uh, yeah. Jules: Oh, wait. I just had a 'brain-flood'. Grayson: If you mean 'a really good idea', it's a 'brainstorm'. Jules: Why? Storms are dark and confusing. A flood is a huge rush. "You should never accidentally hurt someone's feelings. It should be done with intent and purpose." (Ellie) :) |
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Episodio 5x4 2014-12-23 10:16:23Travis: You guys keep your phones on when you go to the bathroom?Andy: Friendship doesn't stop to pee. "New things come and go. We just don't realize how beautiful and perfect the old thing was until it's gone." (Jules) :) |
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Episodio 5x5 2014-12-23 17:07:26"Let me make you another 'cough-tail'." (Jules)Andy: Is a popsicle good for the flu? Ellie: It is when it's frozen red wine and cough syrup. 'Wine-sicles'! "I'd rather have a far-fetched dream than no dream at all." (Bobby) :) |
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Episodio 5x6 2014-12-24 15:55:58Jules: Big Tippi, you were the best thing to come out of Los Angeles. Except for the fake Academy Award I got for 'Best Supporting Lover'...Ellie: There is no greater tragedy than outliving your own wine glass. "No one can control what the world throws at them. But what we can control, except in parts of India, is who we choose to be with. So when life hits a rough patch, you don't reach for the clippers. You lean on the people you love." (Grayson) :) |
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Episodio 5x7 2014-12-24 16:24:04Travis: I didn't want to behave like a child, so I thought I'd try something a little more adult.Bobby: Oh, man! Am I about to get punched in the face? Laurie: Stick your tongue in my ear. Make it deep. Ellie: At what roadside truck stop did you learn about relationships? :) |
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Episodio 5x8 2014-12-31 16:19:01Jules: I am so glad to see you excited, mimicking putting on a tie.Grayson: I was hanging myself... "Laurie made rosemary-plum jam from scratch. The only thing I've ever made from scratch is Travis." (Jules) :) |
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Episodio 5x9 2014-12-31 19:16:30Laurie: You think that real estate is the world's oldest profession?!Jules: Yes! Ellie: Hmmm, tell me, Jules, is it tough working in the world's oldest profession? Jules: It can be a grind. There's a whole lot of people out there looking to screw you. Laurie: I imagine you'd want to be flexible for your clients... Jules: Anything to put a smile on their faces. Laurie: Would you say that you've satisfied hundreds of clients? Jules: Probably half the town. I've been doing this so long that some of my clients are now sending their kids. Ellie: Jules, you are so much fun... Jules: Thank you. You know, when he gets old enough, send Stan my way. I'll take care of him. Ellie: I don't want to play anymore. Jules: What are we playing?! "Those guys are too cool for me. I can't handle people with perfect vision that wear glasses." (Laurie) "I think I told my husband to cash out of this business, and yet, here he is standing in front of a kiosk, grinning like a 3-year-old that just discovered his wee-wee." (Ellie) :) |
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Episodio 5x10 2015-01-03 16:37:51"I'll take a flyer. I just want to see what date the open-mic is so I know not to come." (Ellie)Tom: There's a simple explanation for why my daughter thought you were my girlfriend. Jules: Because you told her I was your girlfriend? Tom: See? Simple. "Sheeps grow their own sweaters, and cows have finger boobs. Windows are baby doors with no clothes on. Knees are like elbows for the legs." (Grayson "Forrest Gump") :) |
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Episodio 5x11 2015-01-03 16:59:32"Oh, yes! I am gonna take my supervisor to the back room!... In a business sense. Not for sex." (Andy)"Sometimes when you're talking about work, I take a quick, invisible nap." (Ellie) :) |
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Episodio 5x12 2015-01-03 17:23:54"I wanted to do a giant cake of Travis' face, but I couldn't figure out how to get his dimpled chin right. Wait a minute! I've done baby-shower cakes before. I can use my baby butt mold!" (Laurie)Laurie: You're always a priority. And even if sometimes it seems like I might have passed you on Jules' list, it's only because I'm sleeping with her son. And that's basically cheating. Ellie: That's true. I earned my spot, and you slutted your way in. :) |
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Episodio 5x13 2015-01-03 18:05:27Jules: You think the old men wash their feet before they stomp on the grapes?Ellie: [Spits] Jules: Sorry. I have a life-insurance physical today, so if I can't drink, neither can you. Travis: I don't want to burden you with this. Chick: I am your grandfather. My back is genetically engineered to carry your burden. Lay it on me. Travis: What's going on? Jules: As you know, I recently went to the doctor with a container of Laurie's pee. Grayson: You don't need to keep mentioning that... Jules: It's part of the story! :) |
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Episodio 6x1 2015-01-08 16:17:00Jules: Once you and Laurie have a kid, you have to be ready for anything. If this was a real baby, it would be dead.Grayson: I'd like to think, if it was a real baby, you wouldn't fire it across the room. Laurie: I am miserable. I can't sleep, I pee when I sneeze, I've got so many tiny little stretch marks on my ass that it's starting to look like a diagram of the Japanese alphabet. Jules: Aw, I have that too. "Tom, this is the coolest you've ever been. And this is not necessarily a compliment." (Ellie) Jules: I'll tell you what I don't miss: wine! Laurie: Honey, are you holding an imaginary glass? Jules: No. These are just my Lego guy hands. "No, he has not really lost his baby. His baby is a pig. I mean, an actual pig. Not a child that's so ugly we don't need to find it. I didn't... Excuse me." (Grayson) Travis: I can't believe I lost my pig. What does that say about me as a dad? Grayson: Should have worn a condom... :) |
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Episodio 6x2 2015-01-17 13:36:16Laurie: Hey, guys. Trav and I did it!Jules: Obviously! You're pregnant... Laurie: No... We came up with our perfect baby names! Jules: You know, when Travis was a baby, he had a nickname. It was 'Hungry Pup'. He could not get enough of my boobs. Chick: The way that boy would cling to your milkers, I never saw anything like it. And I owned a farm. Grayson: Are you two holding hands? Andy: It's more of an extended handshake... "I know it's best for us if Bobby stays here forever. But what's best for him? Just remember, there's no "I" in BFF." (Grayson) "I want big things for you. And it'll be hard shaking up your life and moving on. But sometimes doing the hard thing gets you to where you need to be." (Andy) :) |
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Episodio 6x3 2015-03-04 13:03:12"The first few days we had Stan on our own, I was so tired and cranky, I turned into a total bitch... And I never turned back." (Ellie)Laurie: Is the baby supposed to have that dry skin on his head? Travis: I'm checking Google. Oh, man! I think he's got hereditary equine regional dermal asthenia! Laurie: Okay, I'm calling Jules. Travis: No! Wait, wait. I'm on a veterinary site. It's a horse disease. "He ate and then he spit up. I wonder why he spit up. Do you think that my milk is spoiled? I mean, I just leave my boobs sitting out all day long! Has baby Bobby been suckling from rancid teats?! I better call Jules!" (Laurie) :) |
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Episodio 6x4 2015-03-04 13:31:50Ellie: Hey, chestie bestie. No tabes for my girl?Girl: Your girl's trippin'. No walk-up rezzies at chez to the fray. Ellie: Def? Girl: Snagging tabes is supes hard. Ellie: How supes? Girl: Totes supes. Ellie: Totes supes? Real? Girl: Real. Walk-ups are imposs. Ellie: Feel. What if lady peeps and her sugar "D" grabbed a high-top bar-sides? Swingsies for a chestie bestie? Girl: I can maybe swingsies bar-sides. Fray owes me a fave 'cause I used to let him motor-b my speed bags. Ellie: Use 'em if you got 'em. Def throw a bro a motor-b and grab a fave. Girl: Totes. I can hook a bar slice at ocho, but ocho on the nizzy on the dot. Ellie: Sharp ocho on the dot, real. Girl: Feel. Ellie: Love. Girl: Muahhhhhh. Ellie: Muahhhhhh. Jules: ..... What the hell just happened?! "Why don't you get that little, hairless seal chest over here and you kiss me like I got an itch in the back of my throat?" (Laurie) :) |
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Episodio 6x5 2015-03-04 15:34:58Jules: You know, sometimes I still sneak in Travis' room and watch him sleep.Laurie: Travis and I live together... Jules: I've said too much. Tom: Oh, The Mystery Machine from 'Scooby-Doo'! I always wanted to hang around in that van and maybe try my luck with Old Velma. Travis: You mean Daphne? Tom: I know what I like. ♪ ♫ Andy, Everyone knows he's dandy He's such a good dude Who's never rude FYI, I look great in the nude But back to my friend with the great attitude Let's all hear it for Andy ♪ ♫ >The Winebulance< :) |
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Episodio 6x6 2015-03-04 15:56:41Jules: You go out there and you take the bull by the horns!Andy: Wait. Aren't the horns the worst place to take a bull? Jules: Yes. They're extremely sharp. So you go out there and you take the bull by the tail. Andy: Wait. Won't the bull just kick me with his back legs? Jules: All right, well, you go make the calls, and I'll stay in here and brainstorm about the bull. Jules: Don't be late or else... Andy: Or else what? Jules: I don't know. I just thought it would sound good. Grayson: You secured the perimeter, but you forgot the hole in the hull. Ellie: Damn! Bobby's toilet! Grayson: That's not Bobby's toilet. Ellie: Whatever you need to tell yourself. :) |
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Episodio 6x7 2015-03-05 07:32:35Ellie: I'm gonna act like I did at my own prom: I'll be aloof and above it all and judge everyone.Travis: You'll seem different... but not. Guys: We're in a weird situation. Grayson: I get it, fellas. You're 17. Life's crazy right now, and the one thing you can really count on is your best friend. It's natural to kiss a little. You know, just see if it feel all right. Guys: Dude! We're not gay. We didn't kiss! Grayson: Ohhhh... I did not kiss my best friend in high school either. At all. Ever. Travis: We are always pulling back a strange new layer on you, aren't we? :) |
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Episodio 6x8 2015-03-05 08:29:46Ellie: So you're heading to Grayson's mystery address. What do you think it is? Fight club? Sex club?Jules: Maybe it's both. Maybe it's fight-sex club or a sex-fight club. Ellie: What's the difference? Jules: One has fight sex and the other one has sex fights. Whatever it is, I'm covered. I got two bottles of Gatorade, can of Mace, and my best bra. Andy: Laurie found out? Did she yell until it set off a car alarm? Give you a look so cold you started having war flashbacks, despite never having been near a war? Travis: Is that stuff Ellie has done? Andy: I don't wanna talk about it... :) |
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Episodio 6x9 2015-03-05 09:04:23Grayson: Not everybody needs to have people around all the time.Jules: Yes, they do. Everyone does, except for maybe serial killers. But they have people around for a while, till they don't. But then they find someone new. Oh, you get my point. Jules: You've been taking me on an 'angry goose chase'? Grayson: No, I've been taking you on a wild-goose chase. Jules: That's not a thing. Why would anyone chase a wild goose? Grayson: Why would anyone chase an angry goose? Jules: Because they stole your corn! Jules: Why is my dad holding hands with that stranger?! Is she trying to steal his watch?! Grayson: Jules, your dad is on a date... :) |
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Episodio 6x10 2015-03-31 15:32:20Jules: Let's make this a great night. I really think my dad's in love with Diane.Chick: Hi, everybody. This is Betty. Jules: It's so nice to meet you, Di... Betty. Di-Betty, I mean, diabetes, which I hope you don't have. "I used to want to be a cop, but they don't make police helmets that fit my head." (Travis) "So, what does he call you, Betty, hmm? Biscuit Buns? Muffin Pants? Doughnut Crotch? Sugar Boobs?" (Jules) :) |
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Episodio 6x11 2015-04-01 09:40:14Ellie: When someone's talking, your eyes glaze over.Grayson: That's my listening face. Jules: Yeah, it's also his sexy time face. Tom: So true... Grayson: What? Andy: When I put my other hand inside my pants, it feels like some strange, burly guy is touching me. Tom: So, it's awesome? Andy: No, it's terrifying! Tom: That's what I meant... Grayson: I had to talk to Travis! Seriously, how do you do it? Jules: You just have to remember that he is the most beautiful boy in the whole world, and that you love everything about him. You love his square head and even his little toes with the little red hairs on them. Even his breath. No matter what, it's always sweet to me. :) |
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Episodio 6x12 2015-04-01 09:46:18Jules: Tom, you deserve someone special to be with, to laugh with. Someone who tucks their junk back and says, 'Hey, we're both girls!'.Grayson: What?... That is bizarrely specific... "My name is Grayson. I am a big fan of 'The Jugs'. The band. The big old Jugs. Not yours. I mean, not that yours aren't big. They're... they're fantastic, actually.... Ok, then." (Grayson) :) |
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Episodio 6x13 2015-04-02 08:53:32Jules: I'm having the weirdest 'déjà view'.Grayson: Oh, it's 'déjà vu'. It's French. Jules: It's stupid. If you feel like you've seen something before, it should be 'déjà view'. Ellie: Change approved! "We're gonna probably do this for the rest of our years, just drinking wine and hanging out, doing nothing. We are so lucky." (Jules) Saudade é o amor que fica. ❤ :) |
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