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Parks and Recreation By
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Episodio 1x1 - Nota 7.5 2014-05-11 10:43:50"What I hear when I'm being yelled at is people caring loudly at me.":) |
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Episodio 1x2 - Nota 7.5 2014-05-11 14:54:30- I'm tired and I'm hot.- Yeah, I'm hot too... Let's blow in each other's faces! - (...) - ... Or we can just drink some water... Leslie <3 - Hey, park lady, you suck! - Heard that? Called me "park lady"... :) |
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Episodio 1x3 2014-05-12 14:27:26Andy: He's probably thinking with the head of his wiener instead of the head of his brain.:) |
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Episodio 1x4 2014-06-23 15:16:28"My idea of a perfect government is one guy who sits in a small room in a desk, and the only thing he's allowed to decide is who to nuke. The man is chosen based on some kind of IQ test, and maybe also a physical tournament like a decathlon, and women are brought to him, maybe, when he desires them." (Ron)Leslie: Maybe those [girls from the photos] are his relatives. Ann: Yeah, maybe fake boobs run in his family. :) |
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Episodio 1x5 2014-06-23 19:55:30"In a town as old as Pawnee there's a lot of history in every acre. This wooded area is the site of the murder, actually, of Nathanial Bixby Mark. He was a pioneer who was killed by a tribe of Wamapoke Indians. He traded them a baby for the city that is now Indianapolis. They cut his face off and made it into a dreamcatcher. And they made his legs into rainsticks. That's the great thing about Indians, back then, is they used every part of the pioneer." (Leslie):) |
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Episodio 1x6 2014-06-23 19:57:19"The band has had a few different names over the years. When we started we were Teddy Bear Suicide. But then we changed it to Mouse Rat. Then we were God Hates Figs; Department of Homeland Obscurity; Flames for Flames; Muscle Confusion; Nothing Rhymes With Orange; then Everything Rhymes With Orange; Punch Face Champions; Rad Wagon; Puppy Pendulum; Possum Pendulum; Penis Pendulum; Handrail Suicide; Angel Snack; Just the Tip; Threeskin; Jet Black Pope; we went back to Mouse Rat and now we are Scarecrow Boat. God -- when I hear myself say "Scarecrow Boat" out loud, I kind of hate it." (Andy):) |
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Episodio 2x1 2014-06-23 20:05:40Gay penguin love ❤:) |
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Episodio 2x2 2014-07-05 14:40:01"Whenever Leslie asks me for the Latin names of any of our plants, I just give her the names of rappers. Those are some Diddies. Those are some Bone Thugs-N-Harmoniums, right here. Those Ludacrises are coming in great." (Tom)"I made us is a mix CD. It's all filled with songs about people watching people. It's mostly Sting." (Leslie) Ron: It's just a minor medical issue. April: AIDS? Ron: No, I’m safe. April: Blindness? Ron: No. April: Is it like a parasite or a virus or something you get from a bee? Ron: I have a hernia. April: Do you have syphilis? Ron: I said it’s a hernia. April: I know. It’s possible to have two things. :) |
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Episodio 2x3 2014-07-08 15:23:32"This mural depicts kind of a famous fight between Reverend Bradley and Anna Beth Stevenson, a widowed mother of seven. The original title of this was "A Lively Fisting". But they had to change it. For obvious reasons." (Leslie)"Is Mark the guy who's fixing your shower? Because I don't know about you, Mark, but I've seen a lot of porn, and I know what "fixing your shower" means." (Andy) :) |
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Episodio 2x4 2014-08-15 15:33:26Tom: Having cave sex is insane!Leslie: Why? Tom: Because of the echoes... and the humidity. "Another time, I went to a really boring movie with a guy and while I was asleep he tried to pull out one of my teeth. I literally woke up with his hand in my mouth. We went out a couple of times after that but then he got weird." (Leslie) "Can I use your bathroom? Are you impressed that I know what it's called?" (Leslie) "Well, we went on our first date and I didn't even know it! - a.k.a., I nailed it." (Leslie) :) |
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Episodio 2x5 2014-08-19 15:18:08"This gun truly symbolizes the blossoming peace between our two nations." (Leslie)Leslie: Well, the motel we're putting you up in is really nice. You can watch TBS. Do you have TBS in Venezuela? Raul: We get 14,000 channels. Fourteen thousand. I already know who wins Project Runway. Leslie: Wow, I'm coming over to your house then. Raul: I see what you're getting at, but no thank you. I am still primarily interested in the large, black woman. "Why don't you call your park after Chavez? You call it: "Hugo Chavez Park". You can have a nice big fountain of his head so that when the water is coming out, he's spitting at you all the time. You should write this down. (Raul) :) |
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Episodio 2xSP 2014-08-30 15:50:41Andy: I'm volunteering. Thought I'd give back to those less fortunate than myself.Ann: You live in a pit... "Anything is a toy if you play with it." (Andy) Andy: I want Ann back, and she said she needs a guy with a lot of money. Leslie: That doesn't sound like Ann... Andy: I can't really do her voice. :) |
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Episodio 2x7 2014-08-31 15:44:25Ann: That looks like something you would find on the wall of a serial killer.Leslie: In a way that's a compliment. Shows dedication. >Crappy Hallo'wieners'< :) |
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Episodio 2x8 2014-09-01 14:56:54"I've never taken the high road. But I tell other people to. 'Cause then there's more room for me on the low road." (Tom)"Tammy is a mean person. She is a grade A bitch. Every time she laughs, an angel dies. Even telemarketers avoid her. Her birth was payback for the sins of men. But, you know, the worst thing about her? She works for the library." (Ron) :) |
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Episodio 2x9 2014-09-05 15:49:43Leslie: This could be our legacy.Ann: I thought building a park was gonna be our legacy. Leslie: You can have two. Look at Madonna: great singer, amazing arms. Judge: Who is Michael Jackson carrying? Leslie: Jesus Greg Kinnear. Judge: It looks like he's carrying Kinnear into the burning building. Leslie: That's because he's moonwalking. So he should be going the other way. :) |
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Episodio 2x10 2014-09-07 15:36:45Tom: Man, my stomach is a little upset. I feel a little queasy.Mark: That might be the chew tobacco. You could spit it out. Tom: I swallowed it. You're supposed to swallow it, right? Ron: I've been shot! Somebody shot me in the head! Leslie: Bula-bula-bula? Ann: How are you feeling? Are you dizzy? Are you light-headed? Don: When I look at my palm, I see a lady's mouth french kissing a dog. Is that normal? "On a scale of 1 to Chris Brown, how pissed is he?" (Tom) :) |
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Episodio 2x11 2014-09-07 17:25:32"I'm a feminist. I would never, ever go to a strip club. I've gone on record that if I had to have a stripper's name, it would be Equality." (Leslie)"I don't like strip clubs. Smells like a wet mop in here." (Ron) Guy: You're married? Wendy: Technically, yeah. That's my husband. Guy: Who's he carrying? Wendy: No. That's his boss. My husband is the one that's being carried. By his boss. Leslie: How could there possibly still be glitter on me? Tom: Takes forever to get off. My crotch looks like a disco ball. :) |
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Episodio 2x12 2014-09-09 13:40:47"It's gotten a lot harder to work in Government. Do you think Winston Churchill ever had to pull his pants down and show his butt? No. But would he have? Yes. Now could he have? Maybe not towards the end of his life, but he would have... because he loved his job." (Leslie):) |
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Episodio 2x13 2014-09-09 15:10:33Chris: Well, I'm offering you a free scan. Usually costs up to $2,000. I'm kind of spoiling you here.Leslie: Well, I am a little curious. Chris: Good. 'Cause, frankly, I don't want to invest in someone who only has 3 months to live. (...) Chris: Oh, you're not on your period, are you? Leslie: No. Does that matter? Chris: Well, not for this. "I'm back on the horse. And this horse is a lawyer. So I'm looking forward to riding him. No, wait..." (Leslie) :) |
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Episodio 2x14 2014-09-10 12:15:08Old man: How will you decide which classes to cut?Leslie: By attendance. And student evaluations. So just make sure your students leave with a smile. Old man: My class is called "coping with terminal illness"... Leslie: Hopefully your attendance is good. Actually, no. Hopefully, it's bad. "It's every girl's dream to ask a dude how their date went under penalty of perjury." (Leslie) :) |
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Episodio 2x15 2014-09-12 15:37:27"Wow, that family looks so healthy. Look at them. They're all wearing vests." (Leslie)Ann: These energy bars are terrible for you. Leslie: No, they're not. There's a picture of Lance Armstrong on there. :) |
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Episodio 2x16 2014-09-14 10:42:59"It's the most romantic story ever. It makes 'The Notebook' look like 'Saw V'." (Leslie)Leslie: He's probably married. Or dead. Tom: What's the difference? "He's a tourist. He vacations in people's lives, takes pictures, puts them in a scrapbook, and moves on. All he's interested in are stories. Basically, Leslie, he's selfish. And you're not. And that's why you don't like him." (Ron) :) |
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Episodio 2x17 2014-09-14 11:09:06Andy: April, you're like an angel with no wings.April: So... like a person? :) |
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Episodio 2x18 2014-09-14 11:48:03"When you're in a situation, you don't have time to think. So I thought to myself: 'Don't think, Andy. Act.'" (Andy)"I can't kill the possum because it might be innocent. I can't let the possum go because it might be guilty. Can't make a good soup, can't do a handstand in a pool, can't spell the word 'Lieutenant'. There's a lot of 'can'ts' in my life right now!" (Leslie) :) |
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Episodio 2x19 2014-09-14 14:52:39"That's how pathetic Jerry is. He can't even get karma right." (April)"Jerry's face is the symbol of failure! ... Our failure. To keep the parks safe." (Leslie) Andy: Do you think that maybe I should put Mark in a headlock? That way I can show everyone how to escape a pervert. Mark: In the scenario you just laid out, you're the pervert. You understand that, right? Andy: You wish... :) |
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Episodio 2x20 2014-09-29 14:58:11Jerry: I will photoshop his face.April: Can you photoshop your life with better decisions, Jerry? Leslie: You want me to read you what I have so far in my welcome letter? Nothing! Ron: Did you print this out? I heard the printer going. Leslie: Yes. Ron: You could have just handed me a blank piece of paper... Leslie: Oh, Ron, I really "made love to the pooch" on this one. Ron: "Screwed the pooch"? Leslie: I don't like that term... It's so vulgar. :) |
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Episodio 2x21 2014-10-07 15:01:50Ann: I don't even work here.Ron: Don't care. I need anyone with a pulse and a brain to pitch in. Jerry: Do you need help with anything? Ron: No. We're good. In fact, you can head home early. "That floppy old bag of money is gonna be dead in, like, a month. And who's gonna comfort Jessica and her millions of dollars? Yeah, Jessica is a gold digger, but I'm a gold digger digger." (Tom) "Ugly thing? Let me tell you a little something about this ugly thing, ma'am. An interracial couple was married here and then slaughtered by their own families. It's one of the most beautiful stories in Pawnee's history. Why are you trying to destroy it?" (Leslie) April: Sorry, Ron Swanson is busy right now. Man: Well, can I reschedule? April: Sure. How about June 50th? Do you think you could come back today at 2:65? He's available then... The only other day he has open is march-tember one-teenth. Does that work, sir? :) |
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Episodio 2x22 2014-10-08 14:48:22Ron: I love a good dog as much as the next guy, but this building doesn't allow animals. Andy, take him outside.Andy: And shoot him? "Gross! No! It's Jerry's sex night! That ruins sex and tonight." (Tom) "Give a man a fish and feed him for a day. Don't teach a man to fish... and feed yourself. He's a grown man. And fishing's not that hard." (Ron) >Diabetes. Let's dia-beat-this!< :) |
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Episodio 2x23 2014-10-12 07:43:23Andy: I wrote you a song.April: Score! What's it called? Andy: I'm not telling, but I'll give you a clue: it's named after a month out of the year. April: So... April? Andy: No... That would have been way better... Ron: Leslie, what do we do when we get this angry? Leslie: We count backwards from 1,000 by sevens and we think of warm brownies. ♪ ♪ November, your bangs are cute November, your voice is a flute November Let's pretend the sky is for us Let's spread our wings and fly on a date I wanna go on a date with you In November ♪ ♪ :) |
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Episodio 2x24 2014-10-13 07:24:33Leslie: The parks are closed until further notice.Guy: With the government shut down, who's gonna stop Al Qaeda? Woman: What am I going to do with my kids all day? Keep them in my house? Where I live? "Children's concerts aren't a priority these days. You know what is? Sewage. Pawnee's kids are less important than poop tubes." (Leslie) Ron: They're coming! They're coming! Andy: Who, the Russians? Ron: No, the state auditors. Andy: Hey, is there any chance that you can fix my arm in the next ten minutes? Dr. Harris: Sure. I'll just advance medical science 30 years. Andy: Great! :) |
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Episodio 3x1 2014-10-13 13:15:57"April! Hey, it's me. Andy... Dwyer. Uh, this is like the 200th time I've left you a message without a response, so if you're trying to tell me something, I do not know what it is because you won't call me back." (Andy):) |
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Episodio 3x2 2014-10-13 14:55:59Jerry: Leslie, you look tired and you're all sweaty.Leslie: You look tired and you're all sweaty all the time. What's your excuse? You wanna go there, Jerry? "I need to find someone to fill in for April. I know I'm not going to find someone who's both aggressively mean and apathetic. April really is the whole package." (Ron) Chris: I had a dream. That Leslie came into this room, stole all my flu medicine, told me not to tell you, and disappeared through that hole in the wall. Ann: The door? :) |
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Episodio 3x3 2014-10-13 15:43:01"This book includes a complete list of every official town slogan we've ever had: "Pawnee, the Paris of America"; "Pawnee, the Akron of southwest Indiana"; "Pawnee, welcome, German soldiers" (after the Nazis took France our mayor kind of panicked); "Pawnee, the factory fire capital of America"; "Pawnee, welcome, Vietnamese soldiers"; "Pawnee, engage with Zorp" (for a brief time in the '70s, our town was taken over by a cult); "Pawnee, Zorp is dead"; "Pawnee, it's safe to be here now"; " Pawnee, birthplace of Julia Roberts." (that was a lie, she sued and so we had to change it); "Pawnee, home of the world famous Julia Roberts lawsuit."; "Pawnee, welcome, Taliban soldiers". And, finally, our current slogan: "Pawnee, first in friendship, fourth in obesity." (Leslie)"Dear Pawnee of the future: congratulations! You have found a time capsule that was buried over 50 years ago. We wanted to include a collection of items that would best represent what life was like in our town at that moment. Instead, you'll find only one item: a video recording of a public forum we held in order to determine just what those items would be. So, enjoy watching it. Assuming you still have electricity. And sorry about the weird blank gap in the middle. A man named Jerry Gergich screwed up the recording somehow. He had one job to do. Sincerely, Pawnee of the past." (Leslie) :) |
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Episodio 3x4 2014-10-18 18:17:08Ben: Should we throw in some salads for a healthy option?Tom: Don't be such a Jerry, Ben! Leslie: Yeah, Ben... These guys are cops. Not ballerinas. :) |
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Episodio 3x5 2014-11-02 16:57:05"I found this typewriter. I'm gonna type every word I know: Rectangle! America! Megaphone! Monday! Butthole! ..." (Ron)"April, let me give you a piece of fishing advice. When you have a fish on the line, you don't just drag it behind the boat. You either reel it in, or you cut him loose, especially if he's a nice fish with a big, lovable fish heart." (Ron) :) |
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Episodio 3x6 2014-11-05 16:21:13"When I'm done eating a Mulligan's meal, for weeks afterwards, there are flecks of meat in my mustache. And I refuse to clean it because every now and then a piece of meat will fall into my mouth." (Ron)"This is so awesome! We are like Robin Hood. We steal from the club and we give to ourselves." (Andy) :) |
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Episodio 3x7 2014-11-10 16:07:06"Oh, crap on a spatula!" (Leslie):) |
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Episodio 3x8 2014-11-10 16:34:51"Fishing relaxes me. It's like yoga, except I still get to kill something." (Ron)Tom: What do Jay-Z, Lil Wayne, and Drake all have in common? Jerry: Oh, I know this one! They are all "rapists"! Tom: Oh, my God, they're rappers, Jerry! Ben: Wow, the sky is really beautiful. Leslie: It's pollution from the 'Sweetums' factory. It's gorgeous. :) |
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Episodio 3x9 2014-11-17 15:33:56April: We've been dating for almost a month, so we just decided to do something special.Andy: And dinner parties combine two of our favorite things: dinner and parties. It's like if you could have an 'Xbox pancake'. "One time I fell madly in love with a Civil War reenactor that I had only known for six hours, and then I found out that he wore those clothes all time! And he was married. But the clothes thing really bothered me." (Leslie) :) |
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Episodio 3x10 2015-01-11 17:00:25Ann: What do you think of dogs?Leslie: Love! Ann: Cats? Leslie: Love! Ann: Fish? Leslie: Love! Ann: Turtles? Leslie: No opinion. They're condescending. Ann: Describe your ideal man. Leslie: He's dark and mysterious, and he can sing. And he plays the organ. Ann: I think you just described the Phantom of the Opera. "'Serts' are what I call desserts. 'Tray-trays' are entrees. I call sandwiches 'sammies', 'sandoozles', or 'Adam Sandlers'. Air conditioners are 'cool blasterz'. I call cakes 'big old cookies'. I call noodles 'long-ass rice'. Fried chicken is 'fry-fry chicky-chick'. Chicken parm is 'chicky-chicky parm-parm'. Chicken cacciatore is 'chicky catch'. I call eggs 'pre-birds' or 'future birds'. Root beer is 'super water'. Tortillas are 'bean blankies'. And I call forks, 'food rakes'." (Tom) "Do you want the thing that you have, that you know you like but isn't perfect, or do you give it up for what's behind door number two? I think I like what I have." (Leslie) >Oh, crap on a crayfish!< :) |
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Episodio 3x11 2015-01-18 16:45:44"I feel so powerless. I'm like that lightbulb: weak, flickering, barely giving off any light, unable to make out with the lightbulb I want to make out with." (Leslie)Ben: Do you know anyone who's looking for a roommate? Tom: How hot? Ben: What? Tom: How hot is the woman that's looking for a place to stay? Ben: No, it's me. I'm looking. Tom: Oh, come on, that's not fair. You shouldn't have led me to believe it was a beautiful woman! Ben: I didn't... "That's what you see when you close your eyes at night, Jerry: topless Leslie glued to a horse." (Tom) Ben: So, clothes... you always separate your lights from your darks. April: That's racist. Leslie: Pornography is very difficult to define. It was Justice Stewart who once said: "I can't define pornography, but I know it when I see it". Brandi: For me, it's when the penis goes in. Andy: I like this painting! It's very simple. Leslie: No, it's on the other side. :) |
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Episodio 3x12 2015-01-18 17:10:14"I hate birthdays. I don't like loud noises and people making a fuss, and I especially don't like people celebrating because they know a piece of private information about me. Plus, the whole thing is a scam. Birthdays were invented by Hallmark to sell cards." (Ron)Leslie: This is Joey Plunkett. Joey, wave to the audience. Oh, you can't! Because you broke your arm climbing that fence! Joey: I can wave with the other arm... Leslie: No, you can't! Both your arms are broken! Leslie: Do you remember what you said to me 5 years ago when Eagleton offered me a job? Ron: "Do whatever the hell you want. What do I care?" Leslie: Right... But then, after, when I pressed you... What did you say? Ron: I believe I said that I thought we worked well together and that I might disagree with your philosophy, but I respected you. And I said that you'll get a lot of job offers in your life, but you only have one hometown. :) |
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Episodio 3x13 2015-01-19 14:31:31Ann: We broke up.Leslie: Why? I liked him. Ann: Yeah, I did too. I just I couldn't deal with his face. "Ron is going to play our exciting Snakejuice drinker, AKA Brian Thunder. Jerry, you'll be playing a boring beer drinker. Your name will be Jerry." (Tom) "We need to remember what's important in life: friends, waffles, and work. Or waffles, friends, work. It doesn't matter. But work is third." (Leslie) :) |
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Episodio 3x14 2015-01-20 17:59:03Ann: You guys could literally "get a room".Leslie: Yeah, and I could literally get "a-fired"! "It's never too early to learn that the government is a greedy piglet that suckles on a taxpayer's teat until they have sore, chapped nipples. I'm gonna need a different metaphor to give this nine-year-old." (Ron) Leslie: Get away from me! Ben: ... Leslie: I'm allergic to fingers! Leslie: We have a serious "code Ben". Ann: Well, it's not really code if you say his name... Leslie: He told me that he liked me, and I'm gonna go make out with him right now on his face. Mother: Lauren was supposed to do a paper on why government matters. This is what she wrote! Ron: "It doesn't.". Well said. :) |
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Episodio 3x15 2015-01-21 16:36:08"The best part of any relationship is the beginning. No problems, no fights. Just white wine, cuddling, and crazy amounts of History Channel documentaries." (Leslie)"I wasn't super paying attention to what you just said that we'll be doing, but I will give 110%! Well, as soon as you repeat yourself in a more interesting way." (Andy) "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. I read that once on a can of lemonade. I like to think that it applies to life." (Andy) :) |
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Episodio 3x16 2015-01-21 17:10:59Jerry: My memo says, "You have a cute butt".April: It's probably a typo, because it probably should've said, "You have a cube butt"! Tom: 'Cause your butt's shaped like a cube! Jerry: The question is, why is my memo different than everyone else's? All: Cube butt! Cube butt! Cube butt! Cube butt! Cube butt! Jean-Ralphio: The memorial ribbons. Which one floats your penis? Jerry: They're all black... Tom: Maybe to the layman, Jerry! Obsidian, onyx, midnight, lost soul, rolling blackout, sleeping panther, and void by Armani! "Hope you brought a change of clothes, 'cause your eyes are about to piss tears." (Jean-Ralphio) "We'd like to encourage everyone to buy our merchandise. All the proceeds will go towards Li'l Sebastian's favorite charity: the Afghan Institute of Learning." (Leslie) "What's the point in doing 10,000 push-ups if you're gonna do them alone? I'd much rather do with a wonderful woman... Sitting on my back to increase my resistance." (Chris) ♪ ♪ Up in horsey heaven Here's the thing You trade your legs for angel's wings And once we've all said goodbye You take a running leap And you learn to fly Bye bye, Li'l Sebastian I miss you in the saddest fashion Bye bye, Li'l Sebastian You're 5,000 candles in the wind ♪ ♪ :) |
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Episodio 4x1 2015-01-22 14:12:46Ron: When I was 12, my brother shot me in the pinky toe with a nail gun. It was a hilarious prank, and we all had a good laugh. But I avoided going to the doctor. I hate paperwork. After a few weeks, the toe just kind of fell off.Leslie: You only have 9 toes?! Ron: I have the toes I have. Let's just leave it at that. The point is, the doctor said if I had come in right away, they might have saved the toe. You can't run away from your problems. Leslie: Especially if you only have nine toes... Ron: ... Leslie: Sorry. That was uncalled for. Ron: I'm Ron Swanson, and you're Leslie "F*cking" Knope. You with me? :) |
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Episodio 4x2 2015-01-24 16:01:53"Ron, most of these aren't even receipts! Like this one says 'I bought supplies in 2007'." (Leslie)Tom: With Ben, it's almost too easy. Ben: I can hear you... Tom: I know you can, Ben... That's how easy it is. "We should start thinking about wardrobe. Casual? Formal? Semi-formal? Sporty? Scary? Posh? Baby? Those are the Spice Girls. I just got caught up in my own thoughts. I'm very excited about this." (Chris) :) |
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Episodio 4x3 2015-01-24 16:32:02Radio Host: Leslie, could one say that a book is nothing more than a painting of words, which are the notes on the tapestry of the greatest film ever sculpted?Leslie: One could say that. But should one? Leslie: I expect all of you to buy additional copies of my book, but I wanted the first one that you owned to be delivered and signed by me. April: God, this goes on for 7 pages! Jerry: Mine just says, "Get well soon."... Leslie: Aren't you sick? Jerry: No. Leslie: Something's off. Ron: When people get too chummy with me, I like to call them by the wrong name to let them know I don't really care about them. April: That's a genius move. Ron: Thank you. April: You're welcome, Lester. :) |
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Episodio 4x4 2015-01-27 16:29:15"For the last three years I have served as Troop Leader of the Pawnee Rangers. This is our handbook: '1. BE A MAN'. I wrote the whole thing myself." (Ron)"Relaxation lesson number one, acupuncture. It's great for your back and your rear. Needles in your face, pleasure in your base." (Donna) :) |
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Episodio 4x5 2015-01-28 15:55:50Tania: I've never seen you buy a salad at Sue's Salads.Leslie: That's because I don't hate myself, Tania! ... I'm sorry, but I stand behind my decision to avoid salad and other disgusting things. Lesley: Maybe we should get out of this hot tub. Tom: I'm too sad to get out, and I'm all pruney. Lesley: What happened? Tom: I don't know. I guess I just didn't moisturize enough this morning... Leslie: With the company, Tom... "It was Mary Pickford who once said: 'This thing we call failure is not the falling down, but the staying down'." (Lesley) :) |
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Episodio 4x6 2015-02-02 17:13:48"Ben and I don't hang out much these days. Big deal. Lots of people don't hang out. Jerry and April. Obama and Madonna, probably. We're in good company." (Leslie)Bank lady: $998, $999, $1,000. Andy: Yes! This is how I imagined it! Have you ever seen this much cash in your entire life?! Bank lady: I just handed it to you... :) |
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Episodio 4x7 2015-03-12 15:49:29Leslie: Andy, will you be Iceland?Andy: The bad guys from 'Mighty Ducks 2'? Don't think so. Leslie: How about Japan? Andy: The bad guys from 'Karate Kid 2'? Even worse! How about Germany? They've never been the bad guys.... :) |
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Episodio 4x8 2015-03-12 16:16:56"As a mature, reasonable adult, I understand that this will be the last project that Ben and I are working on together. So, please join us for the grand opening of Pawnee's smallest park on November 12th, 2070." (Leslie)>Let's just say, "Screw it"< :) |
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Episodio 4x9 2015-03-15 09:27:31Leslie: You have a present for me? Aww, Li'l Sebastian!Ben: I had it made for you at the toy store. Leslie: Oh, thank you so much for making my life so wonderful. Ben: You're welcome. Leslie: I was talking to him. Leslie: I did something bad. I'm a bad person. Ron: It's not that simple. You know what makes a good person good? When a good person does something bad, they own up to it. They try to learn something from it and they move on. >I've seen over 200 episodes of 'Law and Order', and it's paying off big time.< :) |
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Episodio 4x10 2015-03-17 10:08:01"Every year, I give Leslie the same present I give everyone. A crisp $20 bill. And every year, she gets me something thoughtful and personal. It makes me furious." (Ron)Ron: We need to get Leslie something that erases the enormous emotional debt that has built up over years of this gift-giving imbalance. Jerry: Aw, jeez. Socks. She gets me. Donna: So, l made my desk out of silver M&Ms. But they do not make silver M&Ms. So I spray painted them. Ann: Okay. Those are poisonous. So no one eat them. Andy: Yeah, duhhh... Ann: Go throw up! Ben: I just wanted to tell you something in person. Leslie: Oh, my God, I'm pregnant!! Ben: ... Leslie: Wait... No, that's not it. :) |
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Episodio 4x11 2015-03-19 17:02:55"Don't listen to your head or your heart. Just look at my eyes and say yes." (Leslie)"I no longer have highly-trained professional campaign managers. So what? Are most murders committed by highly-trained, professional assassins? No. They're committed by friends and co-workers... That analogy was way better in my head." (Leslie) "Oh, what's this in my shoe? Red carpet insole. Everywhere I go, I'm walking on red carpet." (Tom) "Windows are the eyes to the house." (Andy) >The Low-Cal Calzone Zone< :) |
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Episodio 4x12 2015-03-24 16:16:59"We're two days into this campaign, and so far it's going great. In fact, I don't know why they call it a cam-'pain'. Because up until now, it's been a cam-'pleasure'." (Bobby Newport)"Positive is always better than negative. Barack Obama said, 'Yes, we can', and now he's President. Ben says, 'No, we shouldn't', and now he's working for his girlfriend." (Leslie) Bobby Newport: Hey, quick question, that little girl from your video? Oh, my God, she's so cute. Do you think you could talk to her and let her do an ad for me? Leslie: That girl is me... As a 10-year-old. Bobby Newport: How did you do that?! :) |
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Episodio 4x13 2015-03-25 19:46:53Jerry: Milly is going to break up with Chris.Andy: Oh, my God. That's going to be super weird when they move in together. :) |
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